Chapter 10: The Inexplicable

Dating as a 28-year-old male who surrendered his life to Jesus at the age of 25 in a world that condones the opposite is tough. With God’s help, it is possible. I met a Chaldean, Columbian, African, Hebrew (Jerusalem) and finally Venezuealan whom God used to show me woman of valor or faith.

By now, I am looking for a girl who would commit and walk in celibacy into love with me. Longing to build love on the right solid foundation and to establish a marriage that glorifies God made in the image of Christ.

I came in voiced differently to the online dating world eager to bring God, love, honesty, and transparency. Even if it meant most woman who read my profile on dating applications quickly turned away after reading it. I was keen on finding the one for me and I had a hope. My openness in my faith inspired some to come out and thank me for bringing them hope too. Some ladies would make comments to me such as, “do you even exist? Who are you?” I could never believe that some girls had never met someone like me.

I began thinking thoughts like, “Could this world be that lost? How loud is the cry for help? How many people go to bed at night in tears with some sort of struggle or desire for something beautiful and good? I would always respond or think conscientiously, “Don’t doubt what God can produce.”

Daily, we are pitched things that reveal darkness. It comes at us through applications on our phones that promote premarital sex, TV shows that condone cheating and lying, movies condoning adultery, theft, and more. The music played over and over on the radio condones the love of money and the love of sex. The list goes on and on. None of these things have light.

I know the difference now because I was once someone that condoned it, so I can call it what it is.

How can one find or see God working when they are so manipulated and brainwashed with things that oppose God in their lives? How can you find peace if you’re always worrying? How can you find love if you are always concerned for money? How can you experience God’s peace if you do things that oppose it? Do you understand where I am going with this?

Do you know what I love the most about my coming to Christ?

He waits for us. He really does. He understands what we have gone through, our emotions, our feelings, our hopes and desires. He is aware that you are like a child. You may have never learned his ways and you may have never opened a bible before in your life like me. It is all worldly fun and games fooling around and not caring enough until you walk the path that God wants you to walk. Then you will see, then you will understand and see the light. I say that in no negative light. What I mean by that statement is perhaps we consider our lives fun and playful outside of our relationship with God with a worldly mentality separate from God; living in sin instead of freedom.

Jesus sets us free. When we look at it from a biblical perspective, having that relationship with God is everything we really need. The ‘fun and games’ turns into greater well-being and satisfaction with the completeness of our souls. Disobedience comes with consequence. Understanding comes with wisdom. I firmly believe that the moment you have the opportunity to experience God’s peace, grace, and never-ending love; you won’t ever question or fall back into your old self. You don’t have to be a smoker anymore. You don’t have to be upset anymore. You don’t have to go to the local bar and wake up feeling awful because you got super drunk the previous night.

Why would you? You have found the golden ticket. Isn’t that what we all want?

This is one of the biggest reasons I was compelled to write and share this story. I would like for you to have an opportunity to experience God’s love but I can’t do it on my own. I need you to believe. I want you to experience God because it is sinners like me that don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve to stand amongst you all and point a finger and say “ha-ha, I have God’s peace and you don’t.” I don’t want to be that guy. I want to be the guy that testifies for it.

I would much prefer that the percentage of those that get to experience God’s peace would multiply and multiply amongst the lost like the ripples that spread when a rock hits the water.

Let’s keep moving in the story shall we?

A few days later, I pulled into my work parking lot after lunch and I looked down by my feet. For some reason I saw this piece of paper by my foot, so I bent down and decided I would pick it up. The paper was maybe 3” tall by 3” wide. To my surprise, it was an image of Jesus Christ on the cross; how ironic? There was writing on its one side in Chinese language. I was interested to know what the message translated to, so I held onto it, placed it into my coat pocket, and walked into the office and headed on towards our lunch room. We were all meeting for our usual monthly company celebration. That day the owner of the company had given us this seed fruit from Israel which he handpicked while traveling the week prior. Each fruit seed had a date on it; mine is dated 6.21.11 which actually represents the date I joined the company. The seed apparently means good luck or good fortune or something and you’re supposed to rub it when times are tough. After we received the seeds, I pulled the piece of paper from my pocket and asked a co-worker to translate the Chinese message.

He read it out loud, “the peace that Jesus Christ has for you is better than the sunshine in the morning,” followed by him congratulating me saying, “Wow, this is powerful. Where did you get this? This is better than anything you’ve ever heard here today.” Little did I know what was to happen to me next?

It wasn’t until long after that I had eventually changed company jobs by taking a leap of faith.

I will share with you that happened to me at a Home Hardware trade show in St. Jacobs when I was with one of my new bosses at my old job. These are stories I have never told anyone, so I want you understand the courage it is taking me to open up to share these personal experiences with you.

My new boss and I had a short-lived life together at the company. We got along very well because we simply related to one another. She was very nice, kind, and supported me a lot in the process and even in the transition of jobs. When I tried to leave the company I was working for, she still put in an extra effort to keep me happy, and I am still thankful for that.

Let’s move on for the sake of the story, shall we?

Were both taking our turns at the trade show manning the booth together? It was my last week before I was moving on into a new career that I was trying to keep private. I had intentions of helping my Dad’s business by making this move but it hasn’t happened yet and may never happen.

I will never forget this experience. My boss and I were talking about life, about our love relationships, about her family and eventually my relationship with my parents; particularly with my Dad.

I cannot recall all the details we covered in that conversation throughout the day, but it was a fulfilling conversation for the both of us.

At some point during the day, I wish I could pull a thought bubble right at this moment to show you but I simply can’t, so I will try to explain what happened to me and you can let your imagination run wild. I want you to take this quite literally because it is literal.

Imagine water being poured all over your body as if you had just walked yourself under a waterfall and stayed there for minutes. Feel the coldness of it trickling down your body from your head to your toes. You can feel it in your veins, you can feel it rushing through your body. It feels cold but it also feels safe.

Imagine that happening to you? What would you do? Would you freak out? Would you be worried? Would you tell someone? I did nothing and continued talking to my boss. It wasn’t a terrifying experience for me. I mean, slightly but it felt to me, more or less like a cleansing.

I prayed in the midst of all this happening and I believe I even pulled myself aside to run to the bathroom to recollect myself whilst this was going on. I tried to keep my focus and attention to Jesus and at the same time, I tried to maintain conversation with my boss.

A new job meant change, it meant opportunity and it meant growth and also freedom from the tales of my past. It was around this time in my life that I would soak myself into podcasts and listen to hundreds of self-motivational speeches to inspire and bring more positive light to my life. This new job was an opportunity to take risks; the type of leap of faith that everything would work out regardless of the decision I made; to stay or go. I have always liked playing it safe all my life and moving from a medium-sized company to a small company that is brand-new is quite the daunting task.

I like to use this reference because I learned it over the years while getting to know God and myself; that we are like sponges.

My new boss shared this understanding to me and it really makes quite sense in the capacity of having too much on our shoulders and the necessity of letting go. We can only absorb so much water as a sponge until we have to squeeze the sponge. We all have baggage whether we like it or not. Pretend you’re in a restaurant with strangers all around you. Your sitting in the middle of the restaurant alone and surrounding you are other people living their lives; laughing, spending time with their loved ones and some spending time alone with the occasional chat with their server. Each and every single person in that room has personal baggage; scars, problems; mistakes, sins, regrets, hopes, wishes, dreams. I would like to define it as being human. It was a time in my life that I could sit there and see that I needed to squeeze the sponge. I had absorbed too much water and wanted to feel ‘weightless.’

My old life really lacked spirituality and faith. The only time I took to spend time with God was through confessions in high school, and Christmas masses with the family. As time passed, my relationship with God continued to grow and prosper. I began to feel this peace more and more on my heart that was once foreign to me. The same peace that which I had read on that piece of paper months and months prior. It is not a worldly feeling but a feeling of pure love placed upon on your heart. It is a joy constantly flowing if you and through you if you choose to dwell in it. Whether I was laying down, walking in a mall, or talking to someone about God; I would be in peace. It was the same feeling I had before as light piercing through your heart except this time it was a constant, intimate, very personal and directed towards my own heart.

Peace? Is it a feeling or is it a state of mind? I would say it is a combination of both. I am feeling peace because my mind is aligned with truth; God’s truth.

To scan a QR Code, point your camera on your Andrioid, Tablet or Iphone at the QR Code.

Had to come out this way,

See I could not stay,

In the box,

I could not bear to watch,

The pain and suffering,

See that, love covers,

A multitude of sin,

Well then, lets spread it,

Common grab my hand,

Together, have some faith,

Grab my hand, let’s try and put,

The pain to an end,

See that love will never end,

Until the end,

Spread it,

Forget the past,

This can last,

Grasp,

I don’t understand,

Why,

I feel these things inside,

I cannot tell you why,

All I know is that,

I have to try,

Not my strength,

Rely on you

I needed you,

Your shoes,

God before me,

God above me

God behind me

God below me,

God surround me,

Keep me safe.

All of my days,

Through all my ways,

Coming together,

Holding hands,

Imagine that,

This or that

No difference,

Just us,

Humanity and love,

The real stuff,

Can no longer hide,

Can no longer kick back

And let things slide,

All our troops,

The real nice guys,

Stand up,

Show love,

Show love!

Locked arms together

Show up

Don’t let me do this alone,

One day,

Us,

Precious love

Set example

Excellence then

We can represent them

Show up,

Service,

Purpose

Be great,

Be grand,

I understand that God knew our plan before we were born

In our mother’s womb,

If he put something in your heart,

Then listen to it too,

There are things we must do,

I don’t know why,

But when I looked and went back to him,

I changed in so many ways,

And I will never complain,

I’m grateful,

I’m glad,

For the forgiveness he had,

Waited for me,

And now I see,

How he wants me,

One day I felt good,

The next, I am not,

I do not understand why,

But I still need God

In my life,

Everyday,

Every way,

All of my days,

Keep me safe,

Rockets are loaded,

Headed straight up,

We are no longer a victim,

All stars set to fly,

Jumping high across the sky,

My oh my,

God fill us with love inside,

Over and over again,

Remove all the pain,

Hatred,

Sadness,

And sorrow,

We put our faith in you,

You take care of tomorrow,

Let it just be love,

Let it be just love,

Just love,

Oh, please help us,

Coming together,

Holding hands,

Imagine that,

This or that,

Dark or white,

This or that kind,