Chapter 12: Suffering of Sorrows
Battling the addiction to cigarettes is an awful experience. The enemy had me stuck in my old ways for quite some time. It is thanks to God for my ability to be delivered and freed from it. Temptation is always lurking at every opportunity it can get; triggering the weaknesses. I quit for 8-9 months and then I accidentally reopened that box whilst vacationing with friends on a trip to Mexico. Being surrounded by other young guys who were regular smokers takes its toll on you. The spirit and demeanor around me quickly rubbed off in a negative way and I eventually gave into my fleshly desires and puffed away running down the rabbit hole of my past.
Despite those changes, I still withheld my standard of no sex before marriage. I was even open and honest about it to one of my friends on the trip. He understood why I chose to do things this way, and I was even hoping I would inspire him to do the same. On that trip, I even brought my bible with me packed in my luggage and secretly would go to my room to read it at night when I was alone. This is now a normal practice I make today.
I turned down more than one woman on that trip who were looking to tempt me sexually and get me to fool around with them. I even had an interesting experience that I like to think of Jesus every time I think of it; when he would separate himself from his disciples to pray. It was one of those moments when after I did it, I thought to myself, “Hey, this is something Jesus would do,” without noticing it in the act. Wondering what it is? I will tell you. This one particular night, I was being really enticed by one girl who had her eyes locked on me for the entire week. She was a pretty woman but I wasn’t interested. She kept trying to get closer and closer to me that night. She aimed her missiles directly at her target; locked on. She even made a comment out loud as to wanting my last name if that isn’t a little creepy enough. I could tell she wanted to be alone with me. It got to a point that I was forced to run away, and so I separated myself from the group and walked around the corner to say a prayer to Jesus. “God, can you please get me out of this situation. I don’t want this girl around me. I don’t want to sleep with her. I want out.” It wasn’t until shortly after that the night had to dwindle down for bedtime and along came my uncle whom was trying to get into his room but couldn’t. His roommate had deadlocked the bolt on their room door after drinking too much wine and fell asleep. The too much wine was probably my fault because I was with him as he was pounding the drinks down for 40% of the time. Don’t judge! The only reason I was with him was to help him feel comfortable on the trip and to help him find a nice lady to talk to. The rest of the night, he just disappeared and I suppose it worked out in my favor.
Upon numerous attempts banging on the door to get into the hotel room, we were not able to wake him up. Eventually we got some people from the room next door to walk the rails of the outside balcony over to the other side. The goal was to open the balcony door, sneak by him and to unlock the front door, so we could get in. This whole dilemma took hours to accomplish at three in the morning. By the end of the night, we all walked the girls to their room; thanked them for helping, and I was safely in my room where I longed to be anyway. Safe and sound, wrap up my day in thanks and onto the next one.
No, I am not perfect. The worst part of the mistake to smoke again was that upon my return from Mexico to Canada, that one mistake kept me on a winding and dwindling road downhill. The first time I quit smoking cigarettes was hard. This second time was extremely dreadful. I must have prayed over a hundred prayers and tried every way possible to overcome it again like I did in my past except this time it was worse; 10 times worse. It helped that it was more difficult because I got to appreciate the freedom even more the second time.
Matthew 12:43-45 King James Version (KJV)
43 When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none.
44 Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.
45 Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.
In this experience, I exposed myself to many different types of lessons from God and came to understand that when Jesus died on the cross, he overcame our sins. It is through his suffering and death on the cross that we are able to be free from our sins because when he died, he paid for them. We are free.
What was stopping me from being free? I wasn’t accepting God’s word on my heart. Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law and from spiritual death. Jesus has already redeemed us and therefore, we are free from sin and death in Christ. Take a CD computer software and run it on a low ended platform computer and you will see the computer processes the software pathetically.
Take a CD computer software and run it on a high ended platform computer and it will process strongly, thoroughly and well.
What’s the message I am getting at here? Change the platform. Accept Jesus into your life and suddenly your reinstalled on a supercharged hard drive.
Greetings from Paul and Timothy
2 Samuel 6:12-15; 1 Chronicles 15:1-14; Philippians 1:1-2 KJV
1Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, and Timothy our brother,
2To the saints in Colossae, the faithful brothers in Christ:
Grace and peace to you from God our Father.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
1 Corinthians 1:4-9; Philippians 1:3-11; 2 Thessalonians 1:3-4
3We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, 4because we have heard about your faith in Christ Jesus and your love for all the saints— 5the faith and love proceeding from the hope stored up for you in heaven, about which you have already heard in the word of truth, the gospel 6that has come to you.
All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood the grace of God. 7You learned it from Epaphras, our beloved fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our behalf, 8and who also informed us of your love in the Spirit.
9For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have full endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light. 13He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of His beloved Son, 14in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
The Supremacy of Christ
Hebrews 1:1-14
15The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For in Him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities. All things were created through Him and for Him.
17He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. 18And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and firstborn from among the dead, so that in all things He may have preeminence. 19For God was pleased to have all His fullness dwell in Him, 20and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through the blood of His cross.
21Once you were alienated from God and were hostile in your minds because of your evil deeds. 22But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy, unblemished, and blameless in His presence— 23if indeed you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope of the gospel you heard, which has been proclaimed in all creation under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
Paul’s suffering for the Church
2 Corinthians 11:16-33
24Now I rejoice in my sufferings for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is lacking in regard to Christ’s afflictions for the sake of His body, which is the church. 25I became its servant by the commission God gave me to fully proclaim to you the word of God, 26the mystery that was hidden for ages and generations but is now revealed to His saints. 27To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
28We proclaim Him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. 29To this end I labor, striving with all His energy working powerfully within me.
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Melodies,
It has got me, remembering,
Remembering,
The lettering,
Dissembling,
The centering,
Who am I,
Who am I not,
Where am I,
What have I got,
That you, would want,
To spend, some time with me,
To listen to me,
To care for me,
To write this with me,
To sit down with me,
To write to me,
Lord, I am sick
And tired of,
The brokenness this
World can bring,
Yet I still send out,
The thank you that,
I
Have, God,
Are rippling, millions of,
Streams, light, and water streams,
Across,
The seven sea’s,
With a sweet kiss of the
Oceans breeze,
And a find myself,
Living in dreams,
Not only possibly,
Possibilities, of them,
Happening,
Because I seek,
To serve a King,
Who does all good,
And brings to life,
All the impossible
Things,
Keep me wrapped
In your wings,
Protect me from the
Dark,
Keep the evil way,
All this love,
All this Love
God, let it Spread,
Wings,
with Arms Open Wide,
Spread, Innocent as Doves,
Spread Your Love,
Seek out, Reach out to every heart,
God’s Love Soften the hardest hearts,
Oh purely those of the sweetest,
This, this, only,
Only comes from above,
You know,
What a wish it would be,
That as I write, as I sing,
That this, these words, would speak,
To every heart that hears,
Its words, and melodies,
The parodies, solidarities,
The sweet sounds of love,
Written on a page, an agape one,
Each letter falls off the page,
It becomes a struggle to even know
What to say, every color
Blasting through,
Soundwaves,
Light,
Perhaps we all will take,
A flight,
Preliminary sight,
God shine in our hearts,
That came through me,
From you, who am I to kid?
All the mysterious things that you do,
All I remember is that I was once lost,
And now every day I look up in awe towards you
Praise, almost every day,
Pray and pray,
Don’t try to stray,