Chapter 14: My Wife
It was a time in my life that I was learning about marriage on a much deeper level than ever before.
Why walk into marriage God’s way? I think my story has already shown you that. I am learning that no one couple is compatible. We are complimentary. Conformed to the very image of Christ.
From the learnings of Paul Washer; finding someone who is weak in the areas we most want them to be strong.
Romans 8:29 King James Version (KJV)
29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.
No Condemnation in Christ
1There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 2For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. 3For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: 4That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. 5For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. 6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
Control by the Spirit
Galatians 5:16-26
9But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. 10And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. 11But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.
Heirs with Christ
Genesis 21:1-8; Galatians 4:1-7
12 Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. 13For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. 14For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. 15For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. 16The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 17And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
Future Glory
2 Corinthians 5:1-10
18For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God. 20For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope, 21Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now. 23And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body. 24For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hopes for? 25But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
26Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
God Works In All Things
Ephesians 1:3-14
28And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. 29For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.
31What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us? 32He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things? 33Who shall lay anything to the charge of God’s elect? It is God that justifieth. 34Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us.
More than Conquerors
Psalm 44:1-26
35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
36As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
37Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Ask yourself this question.
What is the perfect image of Jesus Christ?
Unconditional love – How can we learn to love unconditionally if we married someone who met all the conditions?
Mercy – How could we learn patience, long-suffering, and heartfelt compassion, if I married someone who never failed me, who was never difficult, who never made mistakes, who never asked me for forgiveness?
Grace – How could we learn to pour out favor upon someone who did not deserve it if I married someone who deserves all good things?
I like to use this metaphor and no it is in no way a tie back to the bible; the true yoke is Jesus.
I like to refer to man and woman in a marriage as both the egg and the flour when baking. When we gather for a wedding ceremony in the witness of our brothers and sisters but most importantly God, we mix the two ingredients together. Each ingredient is different and has its own qualities, textures, and taste. The two become one flesh. When we combine those two ingredients together, whom, were once separate and different, we are creating something completely new. We become ingredients made for each other. Those ingredients share a life together and the result of that life together is all dependent on their commitment to one another and to God to build a sweet and savory cake.
To scan a QR Code, point your camera on your Andrioid, Tablet or Iphone at the QR Code.
Your hair is everywhere,
The Light shines in, it’s just all white,
Your smile, your cheeks,
The way you look wrapped in those sheets,
Everything about you i just adore,
Good morning love, yellow flowers,
I look into your eyes,
Turn, and then,
Now I am Looking up,
Only God can tell you,
What is on my mind?
I haven’t met you yet,
But you can bet,
That I am praying for you,
Caring for you,
Asking him to protect you,
Keeping you safe,
In his loving arms.
Holding you close to his heart,
Even though I am not there today,
I trust that God will lead you in the way,
Maybe it’s even through change,
Could even be a struggle,
Him and I, double,
We both, still love you,
I don’t want to see you cry,
I don’t want a single tear running down from those eyes,
Oh you don’t know the pain, the ribs, will you help guard,
My
Heart,
Teaches me to pray, Stand up, to help and well,
Spread some love,
See, a single man seeks to please God above,
I can’t wait for the day that He whispers in my ear
*** There she is***
And she’s mine,
Safely wrapped in his arms,
Whilst I was waiting, patiently,
And on his time,
Just know that his love has got you,
You are on his mind,
And Even mine,
Changing and molding,
Over time,
Many men, this time,
Even though it may seem dark,
All it takes is just one tiny little spark,
The light, the love,
You and I both know where this all comes from,
It is glory to God above,
You have no idea what, I
Have been through
To get to this moment with you,
I don’t even know what I would do,
Would I just jump for joy?
Or would stream of the happiest of tears,
Stream down my eyes,
All I know is that I will,
Meet you, In time.
I can’t wait,
For the day,
That I,
Will walk you down that isle,
Look over my shoulder,
And Smile,
Do you understand me now?
Or how about when
Him and I,
Are writing the song?
That special one,
That I’ve savored,
Longed,
To share,
To write and sing upon,
Meant simply,
Well, for, you,
A sweet testimony,
That is true,
I’ve been waiting for you,
And I promise to love you,
With all the love that you need,
Love you as much as he’s loved me,
Be the best version of myself,
The one you need me to be,
For you, to protect you, To provide,
Together as one,
And the story never ends…
Do you believe in fairy tales?
Cause I, do,
Whilst not possible through me nor you,
I can tell you who it is possible from,
The one I always lean in and on from,
Seeking his Kingdom, come,
He knows our hearts,
I want you to know that I,
Love spending time with him,
Oh the love and peace on my heart,
I don’t even have the words to start,
So I share, cause I care,
1000s amongst 1000s of prayers,
Being sent his way,
Oh will he keep you all safe,
The Tears in my eyes,
The happiness,
Fields of grass, running,
Holding your hand,
Soft finger tips,
And a swift kiss,
God is always there,
Just look over your shoulder,
Watching over us,
Asking the angels,
To protect us,
Oh yes, I want you to pray,
For others, for me,
I don’t want to be disappointing,
Walking by faith,
How can you blame,
Every point in my life,
Has led me to complete,
And full dependence upon…
Him.
The separation from today’s modern mentality is just necessary in order to understand this message about marriage. Marriage is a sacred covenant that we make with God. You can call me old-fashioned, you can call me whatever you would like. God is the one whom we make a commitment to apart from our wives in marriage. God is the one who joins the two of you together.
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Why can man not separate from his wife?
Judah’s Unfaithfulness
Malachi 2:10-17 King James Version (KJV)
10 Have we not all one father? Hath not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers?
11 Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the Lord which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god.
12 The Lord will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the Lord of hosts.
13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
14 Yet ye say, wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit that ye deal not treacherously.
17 Ye have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the Lord, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the sight of the LORD, and in them He delights,” or, “Where is the God of justice?”
She is your companion and your wife joined by a covenant and by separating that, we break the agreement and promise we made with God.
Did you know that in Canada the average divorce rate is 40-49%, in parts of Europe and USA it is 50-59%, places like Spain and Portugal have higher than 60% and Belgium has the highest percentage at 70%?
I don’t blame you for these results. I don’t blame for God for the results.
I blame the devil for these results. Hopefully God will open the eyes of many to this understanding or perhaps he will use the devil’s schemes for good or revival like he did for me.
For me, there is something I have come to understand about what separates us in relationships. I have learned these things over the years of my life and through my own past relationships.
You can begin to ask yourself what are the reasons most couples decide to give up on each other and seek divorce/separation in a relationship?
You don’t have to think too hard.
I thought of some reasons on your behalf, below:
1. Cheating
2. Lies / Deception
3. Adultery/Lust/Fornication
4. Money
5. Pride/Ego/Narcissism
6. Abuse (Emotional/Physical/Sexual)
7. Lack of Communication
8. Lack of Trust
9. Lack of Love
10. Jealousy
I am sure you can probably name a few more. However, let’s start with those for a basis of understanding and then you can come to your own conclusion.
What if we were to remove those bad situations/qualities from your relationships? What do you expect would be left?
More importantly is to understand who is the source of those things? First, do you perceive them as evil? Is there an understanding that cheating is wrong and opposes love, therefore what am I doing cheating on my spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend? Do we understand that those actions are not from God? The source isn’t good.
What if we replace those bad situations and issues with God? What if we allow God to flood our lives with love instead? What if we submitted and allowed God’s presence/volume to be turned up? Remember, God gives us free will to choose.
What if we chose God?
Understanding that is super important in any relationship. It is important to understand that relationships need two-way communication and not only with each other but also for both partners to have communion with God. There needs to be mutual agreement and both parties should be consistent in their search and seeking of a relationship with God.
I sometimes struggle to understand why do we allow these problems to arise to break our marriages and relationships?
Sometimes, I think, we can sometimes fail in our weaknesses and sometimes we cannot control this from happening. However, I do believe we can overcome that darkness with our obedience to God and having a consistent relationship with Christ.
What did Jesus do for us when he died on the cross?
He made the way for us so that we could be reconciled and reunited to God.
I encourage you if you haven’t done this already, to let God fill and flood your life. Stop, right now…and begin. Do it right now. This could be the best decision you have ever made. Do you doubt me? How would you know if you never tried? How would you know if you never believed? What if you started to believe and God began to reveal himself to you? What if you picked up a bible right now and began reading it for the first time in your life? Are you curious? Have you ever had ‘light’ pierce your heart?
Do you feel as if he is calling you as you read this? If so, it is probably because, he is.
What if what I am telling you is exactly what you need? Don’t look as God as if he is Santa Claus; he is not sitting with a big red sack ready to give you everything you ever wished. Could he? Sure? But that is not what he came here to do. He is your savior. He is your fresh start, the clean slate. He is a God who provides for us and a giver of all good things. He is our salvation. He is our provider and caretaker. He meets all our needs, and he is the giver of every good thing you have ever received.
We can all grow in this relationship. Why not take one hour of your day and devote it to pleasing God. We can all try to give someone we don’t know a compliment today. We can step out of our comfort zone or go out of our way to show a stranger a random act of kindness. Have you ever considered allowing God to shine brightly in your life? I could even say it for myself; sometimes I see things I know I should probably act upon because I feel compelled to and I just simply don’t. It is by faith and it is also by choice that we can give, receive and then see.
God met me at the lowest point in my life. He also revealed himself more thoroughly when I was alone which I find interesting. I learned whilst being alone more about God than ever before and I also learned the most about myself. It was then that I realized that God was there all along waiting patiently for me to come.
I hear stories of people who just cannot be alone; they have this fear called ‘FOMO’ which stands for ‘Fear of Missing Out.’ I came to understand that it is important to learn to be comfortable and in perfect peace whilst being alone. I suppose, if you can stand being alone, you also do not need to rely on anyone but God and yourself to be your happiness. However, do not get me wrong; nothing in the dark times of your life is ever easy or simple; especially when alone. Seek comfort or help in others if you need it but bring God with you. Joseph was taken away from his dad by his brothers, sent to a foreign country and put in jail by injustice. In jail, God prepared him to become the right hand of the pharaoh. Moses lived 40 years in the desert before God called him to liberate his people from Egypt. Jesus was in the desert for 40 days and nights and was tempted by the devil. Matthew was disliked by many as a tax collector, alienating himself from others and found favor with God.
When I was alone, I went through the attacks of the enemy. When I was alone, I received more and more persecution for my beliefs. When I was alone, I would pray thoroughly and be more intimate with God. When I was alone, I came to know a true friend who stays closer to me than a brother. Most importantly, when I was alone, I was flooding my life with God’s presence and I became fully dependent upon him. Your heart will suddenly begin to overflow with a pure love; gushing water running through your heart like the streams and soft ripples of a river.
Let’s let God build our lives and let him write our story without trying to control every single thing that happens. That is all I am doing or trying to do. It is enjoying the journey by trying to let go of control to watch in awe and wonder the things he has had planned for you all along. It is watching him turn the desires of your heart (that are for you) into your reality. It is watching him transform you from darkness to light. What I love the most is that we have the ability to ask him for anything in and through prayer. As the loving and true Father that he is, he listens, and he will give you food instead of a serpent.
Luke 11:11-13 King James Version (KJV)
11 If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?
12 Or if he shall ask an egg, will he offer him a scorpion?
13 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
If you believe my testimony that I have written and shared to you today and seek to find him, you will find him.
As I draw near the end of this story, I cannot believe the view looking back at all the valleys that he has walked me through.
Today, he and I still walk together; stronger and dependently rooted. One day I hope you too may walk by faith and do the exact thing that I am doing for you.
One of the stories in the bible that I am most fond is the parable of the three servants. Talents, gifts and things God has blessed you with are yours to keep when used, and lost, when you neglect to use them. This includes your faith. This includes your capacity to love one another. This includes your God given gifts and talents.
Matthew 25:14-30 King James Version (KJV)
14 For the kingdom of heaven is as a man traveling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods.
15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several abilities; and straightway took his journey.
16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents.
17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two.
18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money.
19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them.
20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more.
21 His lord said unto him, well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them.
23 His lord said unto him, well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.
24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art a hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine.
26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed:
27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury.
28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents.
29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.
30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
King James Version (KJV)